Sunday, the 1st of Rova, 4707 A.R.; Swallowtail festival & Autumnal Equinox
Jeffery and Gord’n have called the small town of Sandpoint home for some time. They had usually been able to go from job to job however lately work had gotten scarce, after listening to many a traveller’s tale spun in the local taverns they decided that adventuring was for them. Their first lead turned out poorly and they were chased by an Owlbear through the woods, all the way back to Sandpoint where the creature thought better of continuing the chase. Temporarily cured from seeking a life of adventure the two friends decided that living and working in Sandpoint wasn’t such a bad thing. As time wore on the drudgery of a plebs life reminded them of why they sought out an adventuring career in the first place, but they had to make a living, and now.
Eek and Gooh left their brutish homelands in search of adventure, however due to Eek being a member of the much maligned Ratfolk race, and Gooh being a swarthy Half Orc who looked more Orc than Half Orc, they were run out of every town they encountered. Upon encountering Sandpoint they expected the same welcome. On this occasion however, they were pleasantly surprised, when the local Bard took an interest in them and found lead roles in his ailing play, The Harpy’s Curse, in the hopes that having real monsters in his play would breathe life back into the production. He has also hired Gord’n and Jeffery as the heroes of the piece.
The basic premise of the show, The Harpy’s Curse is as follows :
A Half-Elf and a Gnome are transformed by a powerful curse into a Half-Orc and a Ratman. The friends must track down the harpy that performed the curse and make amends for assuming she was evil and attacking her. It is a tail of mistaken identity, taken identity, love, loss, redemption, and just a general rollicking good bit of fun – according to the blurb on the posters plastered about town in any case.
The production is due to take place part way through the annual Swallowtail festival.
Gord’n, a shifty looking Half Elf Cleric to the Calistria, goddess of revenge, lust and trickery, often referred to as The Savoured Sting decided to partake in one of the many games of cards that were very popular during the Swallowtail festival, even though it had not officially been declared open at that time. Among his opponents was Billert (a Dwarf who’s name, Gord’n had trouble pronouncing). Billert was playing Hangman’s Bluff, a game Gord’n had never played before. Best of three rounds. Round one went to Gord’n much to the dwarves chagrin. Round 2 went to Billert, he thought he was in with a chance, had he known he was playing against the “Gamboleur” Gord’n he may not have been so surprised when the third and final round (and the winnings) went to the shifty Cleric.
Shortly after this Mayor Deveron opened the speeches, next on the podium was the ever downcast Sheriff Hemlock. Cyrdak the towns Bard (and our friends employer) was last to take centre stage, and he declared the festival begun.
Eek, Gord’n and Jeffry entered a dagger throwing competition shortly after. Their opponents were a human by the name of Lomdy and a strong looking blond human with a flat top hair cut who went by the name, Gronn.
Just as the towns new cleric was about start the consecration ceremony there was an all out goblin attack on the town. Townsfolk ran for their lives, Goblins stabbed and slashed at whomever they could catch, killing townsfolk, their pets, horses…anything….all the while their warchanters sang this song….
Goblins chew and goblins bite.
Goblins cut and goblins fight.
Stab the dog and cut the horse,
goblins eat and take by force!
Goblins race and goblins jump
goblins slash and goblins bump.
Burn the skin and mash the head,
goblins here and you be dead!
Chase the baby, catch the pup.
Bonk the head to shut it up.
Bones be cracked, flesh be stewed,
we be goblins! you be food!
After considering which spell to use or other course of action to take, Gord’n stated firmly
“I’ll just hit it with my Morning Star!”
…when faced with a goblin within reach. One swing of the weapon, with little effort brought the small creature’s career to a permanent end.
Gooh unleashed savage blow after savage blow sending goblins flying in all directions.
Jeffry the Gnome Summoner and his otherworldly companion, Jon caused their own brand of mayhem. A warchanter started to cast a spell at Jeffry but before he could utter all of the necessary words he was abruptly disembowelled by Jon, Jon didn’t stop there and his second strike knocked the diminutive green creatures head from its body. It’s stupid maniacal grin frozen in its death pose.
Town guardsman used their horses to great effect, simply riding over the top of goblins where they could. The remainder of the citizens ran into their homes and barred their doors, frightened faces appeared at the windows of those who dared to peep.
This part of town seemed to be cleared of goblins, the friends heard a man’s high pitched wail and they went to investigate. Aldern Foxglove, a noble, was cornered with his prize hunting dog by several goblins, one much tougher looking than the rest. The goblin Commando hacked into Aldern’s dog with his “Horsechopper”. The goblins cheered in unison as the poor animal whimpered and then fell silent.
The companions attacked at the sight of this. The commando hacked at Gooh and gave him a wicked gash along his ribs. Jeffry cast Daze on the commando, he would go on to cast Bane however it would only affect a small number of the other goblins, the commando was unaffected.
Jeffry and Jon unleashed their special kind of tag team combat on the commando. Eventually wearing his defences down and putting him down. Gooh, angry now that this creature had maimed him attacked with more fury than he has felt in a long while. He sliced into the remaining goblins and they fell quickly.
Gord’n provided some welcome healing to his friends.
Aldern thanked the adventurers for their help and asked if they could meet him later at the Rusty Dragon so that he could show his thanks more properly.
A town guard pulls up on a sweaty horse and states that the remaining goblins are running for their lives and heading north out of town.
On their way from the area they notice that a goblin is trapped under a cart.
Gord’n stated matter of factly…
“How would you like to die me old son?”
“We were sent here to maim and kill, did we do good?” replied the crazed goblin, ignoring the question.
“No, not really, well ya did, just yourselves….look at yourself, you are trapped….under a cart”
“It was an unfortunate accident”, the goblin replied.
“Who sent you here to main and kill, and why?”
“I know not his name, he is just some longshanks” stated the goblin with a blank look like it never really mattered, any excuse to attack the humans was good enough.
“Jon, grab his arms and start pulling”, commanded Jeffry with an evil gleam in his eyes.
“Weeeee were sent here as a distraction” squealed the goblin, taking more notice of questions now.
Gord’n asked, “From wot?”
“Longshanks wanted to retrieve something from the graveyard”
“To the graveyard!” yelled Gord’n
“That’s all I know…..no no noooooooo” squealed the goblin as Jon approached. Jon then bit the creatures head off and spat its filthy blood on the floor.
“To the graveyard!” they all shouted again as if the action of Jon cemented their plans.
As they made their way to the graveyard the townsfolk started spilling back out onto the streets. Goblin bodies mostly littered the streets however some pets and even some of the townsfolk did not survive the attack.
“Oh, the heroes!” said some of the townsfolk.
“Bring it on my lovely”, gleamed Gord’n, revelling in the attention.
“Show us your treasure”, asked Jeffry expectantly.
Chiming in, Gord’n asked, “Bring us your virgins”
Whether it was just shock or they didn’t hear the comments, the townsfolk waved thankfully to the heroes as they walked by, still gushing their thanks.
Ameiko Kaijitsu, the proprietor of the Rusty Dragon was one of those thankful to the adventurers as they walked down the street in triumph.
“Thankyou for saving Sandpoint, you have free rooms at my Inn – The Rusty Dragon for a week as my thanks”
“We need to go back there, thanks!” stated Jeffry, remembering that Aldern Foxglove had a reward waiting for them at that very place.
“What about the showman, we have a contract?” wondered Gord’n.
“Bugger him!” replied Jeffry. He had moved on from that part of his life already.
Along the way to the Hemlock the Sheriff caught up to them. He asked them of their plans for the future.
“Were going to the graveyard”
“Not your immediate future!”
“Going back to the tavern to collect our reward, then on with the show”
“I’m sure there will be many rewards waiting for you” the sheriff stated with a knowing look. “As for the show, it has been cancelled, as has the festival, in light of today’s events”
The sheriff accompanies them to the graveyard. They notice a tomb that has been opened. Jeffry and Gord’n spot what they believe to be goblin footprints in the dirt, they also notice that there is a larger set of footprints, probably belonging to a humanoid of some sort that must have walked with the goblins to the tomb. They deduce that the humanoid and the goblins climbed the wall and entered the vault.
The door to the vault lies ajar. Eek manages to squeeze through first, and the rest follow, opening the door further as they go.
In the corner of the tomb, two piles of bones click together and form two skeletons, they undead advance on the friends.
Gord’n considered a spell for a good long while, he then considered invoking his god’s name and turning the undead, but then realized he wasn’t THAT sort of cleric, he finally settled on hitting them with his morning star. He missed.
Jon destroyed one, sending it back into a pile of bones, this time shattered bones.
Jeffry landed a glancing blow but eventually the companions managed to take down the second skeleton as well.
The sheriff states that this is the tomb of brother Eziekien, the priest who was burned to death in the fire from a few years ago that claimed the previous cleric temple.
“Look, his remains have been taken!”
“Please keep this information to yourselves, we don’t want to worry the townsfolk any more than they have already been today” asked the Sheriff.
Jeffry summons a dog to track the footprints however it takes too long and the summoning only lasts but a minute. He considers summoning another dog but realizes it is a waste of time.
“Oh well bugger that, let’s go to the Rusty Dragon for our loot”
Back at the Rusty Dragon Ameiko lays a roast on the table for the friends, and as many drinks as they like. The companions ask after Aldern Foxglove and before they can go looking for him, he walks into the bar.
“Welcome!” the noble proclaims, a little taken aback that they are here so soon for their reward.
He gives the four adventurers 50 gold pieces each.
“My home is in Magnimar to the north, next time you are there please stop by”. He then provides them with his address.
“I was thinking of going boar hunting today, don’t know if any of you are interested or not?”
Gord’n, stunned that the noble would want to go boar hunting after they day he has had.
“What the fuck?!?”
“That’s why I came here, lots of good hunting in the woods nearby” stated the noble, unshaken by the language.
“You wot, wot the fuck, you want to go boar hunting? Where’s your hunting dog?” questioned the cleric, knowing the answer already.
“My dog is dead yes, that’s why I will need help”
Jeffry chimed in, “do you have a boar spear? You have to have a boar spear”, “lets to the armorer and get one”
Jeffry then plies the noble with his free alcohol in the hopes of getting him drunk so that his purse strings may loosen.
A short while later after Aldern has had a few too many beverages they arrive at the local armorer. There are many weapons of varying quality, but the one that stands out to Jeffry is the repeating Crossbow, it sports an ivory hilt and has a name inscribed on its stock.
“Ah yes, the crossbow, I bought this from an adventurer in Riddleport some years ago”, stated the armorer.
“That looks like it would kill a few boars!” stated Jeffry to Aldern. Jeffry then detects that the weapon is also magical in nature. A fine weapon indeed.
“That would be fuckin good”, Jeffry suggested to the noble.
“Looks like it would cost a pretty penny” stated Aldern, still a little drunk but sobering up at the thought of spending his money, or more correctly, having it spent for him.
In the end Aldern generously donated 500 gold pieces towards it, with a 20% discount as thanks for saving the town from the armorer, and some gold scrounged from Gord’n, Jeffry got his crossbow.